The Third Circle of LOL

I'm kind of particular about the use of LOL - I only ever use it when I actually laugh out loud at something. Which is rare. Really rare. Why don't I laugh out loud that much? Do other people? I get the impression that most people laugh a lot more than me, to be honest. Which started me thinking about comedy in general and what it means to me and my fellow hu-mans. So I thought I'd attempt to distil into a short blog post. Ambitious. OK, you've put up with my rambling intro- prepare for it to be focused into a tight laser beam of text. Right...now...

I love comedy. Love talking about it. Love finding new funny films, shows, stand ups and clips online. I spend a lot of time looking for things that will specifically make me laugh but I often turn my nose up at most of the crap I find. Though even the good things, that I enjoy, don't often make me properly laugh. A recent example would be 'Limmy's Show', which is great. Really smart, creative and doing something genuinely interesting in the medium. I like it a lot. Did it make me laugh? Nope. Raised a few smiles, and the occasional snort, but it didn't make me actually laugh. I would absolutely say that I enjoyed it, but I can't shake the feeling that something I regard as good comedy really should though.

You know, the last show that made me properly roar with laughter is, and this is going back a bit here, Bottom. Now that's probably as much a reflection on my age at the time and when it came out, but that show would have me in tears. Considering this and my fondness for Jackass, I think it's physical comedy that really makes me laugh. Which obviously I baulk at, considering my pretentious 'The best comedy is well written comedy' ideals, but they're hilarious to me. I have no doubt that all of you have something that you find funny that you're kind of ashamed of too though. Like my relationship with 'You Don't Mess With The Zohan.' (It's a GREAT film!).

I guess this just speaks of how subjective comedy is. I love to recommend any number of things to people. It's a big part of the reason I spend so much time looking for new music, films, comics etc. But comedy? Very hard to recommend to people. I always find it so difficult to judge what an individual would find funny. I think that the majority of my friends would be surprised at the terrible shit that really tickles my black heart. It's the same for everyone I'd imagine.

Finding new comedy is vital for me though. I love to laugh and I'm always trying to find something that'll properly slay me, it's just that so few things do. Recently, one of my students was goose stepping about class in a pair of slipper/flip flop things when she kicked too hard and one of her slippers flew off, hit the wall and landed neatly in the bin. I roared with laugher. So since then, they've been trying to recreate it. But it's not the same. Which I think neatly sums up why I don't LOL too often- unlike most other entertainment, it can never be as good the second time around. In fact, for me, most comedy even struggles on it's first pass.

One door closes....

So after months of on and off planning for it, my Canadian working holiday trip is officially off. I got a lovely personal, computer generated email from the Canadian embassy to let me know. It's bloody frustrating to be honest, but at least I finally know either way. The waiting was driving me crazy. The reason for it baffles me, however- in the past few years they've had a residency stipulation, that requires you to have spent the past three years in your home country. This seems like an odd criterion to me- I'm not sure why somebody well-travelled with a wider range of experience would be LESS suitable for a working holiday visa. Whereas Country McDumbFuck who's lived in his mothers attic for the past 10 years, working part-time at his local petrol station would be ideal, I suppose. Argh. I do get where they're coming from, to an extent. Doesn't make it any less stupid though.

Bitter? Me?

Anyway, onwards and upwards. This just frees me up to make some other plans for next year and finally get my CELTA sorted. At least that's the theory. In the short term it also allows me to buy myself a consolation iPad. That'll soothe the savage beast.

State of the ((superhero)comic book) arts

Like the majority of comic book fans, my gateway books were all superhero titles. In the most part this is due to the fact that, well, super hero books make up the majority of what is out there. Being from the UK I had other options in the form of 2000 AD and the like, but a lot of them tapped into the same experience we all craved as youngsters- that of a talented individual (or a group) facing off against overwhelming odds. Not a lot's changed to be honest, apart from the medium I use to get my fix. I mean, I'll always love superheroes, but it seems to me that the genre that birthed them has given up trying anything challenging or new with them. It seems to me like they're just slowly letting them die. Just why are there so few good superhero comics anymore?

This all started when it occurred to me recently that of my top ten favourite superhero projects over the past few years, only one of them was a comic. The initial plan here was to give you that list but I realised that would be tip most of you over your justifiable boredom threshold. Suffice it to say- just the fucking one. From the genre that birthed the superhero. That seems shocking to me. It's only since I've been revisiting recent-ish DC and Marvel books that I've realised just how shocking the general quality is. Sure, we can rightfully bitch about the quality of so many film scripts too, but they're like 'The Catcher in the Rye' compared to your average superhero book.

I hope they weren't always like this. I hope that my early memories of comics aren't as rose-tinted as I now come to suspect they are. Really, I'm writing this in the hope that somebody will come along and go 'Look, asshole, here's an amazing superhero book. You don't know what you're talking about!'. I am horrendously out of the loop these days, after all. I'll just keep my fingers crossed as I still love the medium, and always will. There are still so many quality comic books out there, it just makes me sad that my old friends, the superheroes, seem to be getting such a short shrift these days. Apart from their non-unionised, Hollywood equivalents, of course. So, am I wrong? Is their hidden amazingness going on that I'm not aware of? Can you show me? Please?

Oh Canada....

I'm currently in the midst of applying for a Canadian working holiday visa, for those of you not in the know and it is a grim and harrowing experience. Just like a trip to Canada, I guess! Boom! Just joking Canadianite friends who peruse this blog! I'm quite sure your country is tops. Let's just hope I get to find out first hand....

Nearly all long term visas and similar schemes seem to be increasing the number of hurdles as the years go by, and I get it, I really do, but it's shitting on the little man more and more. And by little man, of course I mean me. Right now I have to get a police certificate from every country I've spent more that six months in, can only get the visa if I haven't spent more than three years in a foreign country (I'm close!) and need to sign a stack of forms declaring I'm not going to do anything unsavoury once I get there ( Your sheep are safe Canada- for now). It just drives me mad- I'm just going to go there, work hard and enjoy myself. I do treat things with respect! I will not break any laws, probably! Argh!

In a way this all happily dovetails into my 'douchebag card' system I'm going to implement once Northern Ireland rises up and seizes control of the world. The basics are this- you'd apply for said card and then be followed around by an independent adjudicator for one week over the course of the next three months. After that period of time, a ruling would be made and you'd receive a card that would either say 'Not A Douchebag' or 'Douchebag'. Having a 'N.A.D' card would bring all kinds of benefits- upgrades all over the place, drinking booze on the train and a significant reduction in the amount of paperwork you have to do, amongst many other things. Just an idea right now, but let's make it happen, people! I mean, at least 50% of you would see the benefit of this system. It's either that or we just go full on 'Judge Dredd'.

Sigh. It's only a wonderful dream. In the meantime, if you are ever applying for any work permit, visa or entry card, drop me a line. I've almost certainly been through that shit before.

Fireside chats- Lifestyle Choices

A friend and I used to while away an evening lamenting the experiences we would never have- those paths that shall always remain closed to us. True, as an individual it's possible to taste only a fraction of the things life has to offer, but it can be interesting to dwell on what could have been, even in a bitter-sweet fashion. Here, in no particular order, is a list of some of the things I've never been and never will be.

Human Trafficker

I will never be a human trafficker. There. I finally said it. Wow. It feels good, you know? Cathartic. Not that I'd ever be a human trafficker, you understand, but it's always hard to close the door on an experience. All in all, it seems like a tricky business anyway. Profitable, maybe, but tough and pretty competitive. In honesty, I think it was my upbringing that denied this world to me. Damn my middle class roots. Maybe in the next life I'll be lucky enough to be born in some Eastern Bloc nation and get to experience all the wacky adventures that brings. Fingers crossed.

Pimp

Mainly because I just don't think I could deal with beatin' all dem hoes. And they need to be beat, no doubt. I can't even hit a guy, never mind a girl. Which isn't to say I'd discriminate in my choice of hoes, of course. I'd like to think I'd offer a broad portfolio of guys and girls to satisfy all potential customers. That's just Business Studies 101 right there (I'm glad I took something away from that class). Regardless of all this, my hoe beating handicap will always stop me from moving into this lucrative industry. So sad. But talking about hoes....

Rent Boy

Now, I'd imagine this will be a crushing blow for a lot of my readership, but I'm sorry, I just don't think I'll ever be into it. The worst thing is that I'm built for it. You've all seen this face. I'd be getting ass left, right and centre if I was. But it's not to be. I'll take a soft, nice smelling cute girl over a smelly, dirty dude any day. I guess I'll always be one of those damn reverse-queers. Those cries of 'You disgust me you fucking straight!' will just have to continue to haunt me til the day I die.

Proviso: Unless the money was VERY right, of course. Well, slightly right.

Fighter Pilot

Because, genetically, only my eyes are up for it. Don't tell the RAF.

So don't be shy. What lifestyle choices have you been denied by some terrible scheme of genetics, upbringing or sanity? Let's share the pain together.  

Charlie Brooker

When I think of the people I regard as heroes, at least those of whom have a voice that speaks to me, I'd list people like Doug Stanhope, Louis CK, Stewart Lee, Adam Curtis, Charlie Brooker and of course, Kanye West. A group of sneering misanthropes if ever there was. Or so they tell me anyway. I think it's because they all expose the elements of life that we'd all rather not think about too often or even forget. Which is why I like them all, really. Though none more so than Charlie Brooker. It only occurred to me as I was watching his most recent series how much his way of thinking resonates with me and just how long I've been reading and listening to his furious, bile filed rants. Furious and bile filed perhaps, but always spot on.

I probably first read his work back when he was writing for PC Zone, though at that stage I couldn't care less who was writing the articles in magazines. They were about video games, that's all that mattered. It was only when he started writing his Guardian column and nearing the end of his work on the 'TV Go Home' website that I really started paying attention. His writing was thick with barbed insults and he readily demolished anything he set his focus on. It was great. Funny and insightful. He played for laughs and used language so effectively to achieve this, but he also tapped into the anger that any right thinking person has for so much in this world.

I think why I was such a fan is because he focused on a subject close to my heart- TV (with sly references to video games now and again). He treated it with the disdain it deserved, but was also responsible for championing some of the great moments and shows that do crop up from time to time. Through his show, 'Screenwipe', I learnt about things like Deadwood, The Wire and Rome. Shows that I came to love. He cut the wheat from the chaff like no one else.

His most recent show, and one that feels like the culmination of everything he's done so far is 'How TV Ruined Your Life'. It's exactly what it sounds like and breaks down the various ways TV has irreversibly twisted how we perceive life. Focusing on subjects like Aspiration, Fear and, most recently, Love, it's both funny and chillingly accurate but doesn't tell you anything you probably haven't thought yourself. It's just does it in a much more entertaining package.

But enough of my rambling. I don't want this to sound like too much of a love letter, I just wanted an excuse to spread the word a bit and post some links. So I'll not be pleased if I get any 'Why don't you marry him already?' comments. Besides, I'm too late. The lucky bitch.

The Amazing Adventures of....

I've been banging on at a handful of people to read 'The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay' for years now. The book always seemed like a perfect fit to some of my friends and I was always eager to bang on about it to them. But after re-evaluating it recently and reading some more of Michael Chabon's work, I now think that it's a book for more than just some of my friends- it's a book for everyone. The themes and story lines just speak to a far larger audience than the comic shell that holds the whole thing together. So let me whet your whistle and convince you to pick up a copy.

I can't remember how I found the book, particularly. Though once I had, and discovered it was a Pulitzer prize winning novel and also related to the comic industry, I snapped it up, appealing as it did to both the pretentious and geeky aspects of of my personality. The book itself is set in 1939 and is about two cousins, one escaping from Prague coming to live with the other, based in New York. Kavalier and Clay, respectively. The story follows how they influence each others lives and come to form a partnership which ends up creating a widely successful comic character known as 'The Escapist'. It's a fictionalisation, though is loosely based on other key comic creators of the time, such as Stan Lee and Will Eisner, and how they drove the industry and the iconic characters they created. However, this is merely the glue which holds the whole thing together and the book itself tackles all kinds of other subjects that I won't even mention for fear of spoiling it for you.

I hadn't even heard of Chabon when I first read the book, though he quickly became one of my favourite writers. His writing alone makes the book worth reading. He's the sort of author that will write a sentence that just makes you put the book down, grin, and curse the world that you didn't write it. He makes you want to become a writer yourself. His beautiful form of descriptive writing can sometimes threaten to be twee or over-cooked, but never is. It's perfectly judged balancing act and he never fails to put you completely in the time or place he desires. He also sprinkles his books with delicious little morsels of Jewish slang or vocabulary which never fail to raise a smile. I've always found the way Jewish people use the English language (and even the sound of Yiddish) to be weirdly fascinating, especially to an outsider like me, and I love getting a peek into that world, even if it is a fictional one.

You know, I'm not going to write about this any-more for fear of saying too much. Just go and read it. I guarantee you won't regret it. In fact, you'll almost certainly want to thank me. In that case, cash is always welcome. That or a hug.