Friday, 11 March 2011

Oh Canada....

I'm currently in the midst of applying for a Canadian working holiday visa, for those of you not in the know and it is a grim and harrowing experience. Just like a trip to Canada, I guess! Boom! Just joking Canadianite friends who peruse this blog! I'm quite sure your country is tops. Let's just hope I get to find out first hand....

Nearly all long term visas and similar schemes seem to be increasing the number of hurdles as the years go by, and I get it, I really do, but it's shitting on the little man more and more. And by little man, of course I mean me. Right now I have to get a police certificate from every country I've spent more that six months in, can only get the visa if I haven't spent more than three years in a foreign country (I'm close!) and need to sign a stack of forms declaring I'm not going to do anything unsavoury once I get there ( Your sheep are safe Canada- for now). It just drives me mad- I'm just going to go there, work hard and enjoy myself. I do treat things with respect! I will not break any laws, probably! Argh!

In a way this all happily dovetails into my 'douchebag card' system I'm going to implement once Northern Ireland rises up and seizes control of the world. The basics are this- you'd apply for said card and then be followed around by an independent adjudicator for one week over the course of the next three months. After that period of time, a ruling would be made and you'd receive a card that would either say 'Not A Douchebag' or 'Douchebag'. Having a 'N.A.D' card would bring all kinds of benefits- upgrades all over the place, drinking booze on the train and a significant reduction in the amount of paperwork you have to do, amongst many other things. Just an idea right now, but let's make it happen, people! I mean, at least 50% of you would see the benefit of this system. It's either that or we just go full on 'Judge Dredd'.

Sigh. It's only a wonderful dream. In the meantime, if you are ever applying for any work permit, visa or entry card, drop me a line. I've almost certainly been through that shit before.

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