Diet Schmiet

I long ago swore that I would never go on a diet. Never ever. They seemed ineffective, horrible and a lot of the time for no other reason than to look fashionable or sexy or something. They just seemed so miserable and pointless, like some sort of self-inflicted torture. So in my mind, diets were just big fat waste of time. Apart, of course, from the diets that have medical significance- they're totally cool.

The other big, conflicting factor is that I love food! Seriously. I mean, who doesn't? Though I think I especially do. I often feel that unlike most men, who think with their brains and/or dicks (apparently), my belly does most of my thinking for me. Just this afternoon it made me go into KFC for lunch, the bastard. My brain was very angry afterwards, let me tell you. Even my brain is part of this nefarious scheme to make me fatter though. I just see food as such a wonderful, cultural experience and like to explore somewhere by both seeing locations and trying their exotic foodstuffs. You know, like KFC.

Keeping all this in mind, I have decided to go on a diet (probably). I feel it's the last possible area for me to sell out in and I like to be consistent. And get this- it's for fashion reasons, no less! As my health is, at the very least, satisfactory. However, it's not a desire to get more sexy on your asses that's driving this decision, it's financial. Yes, a few years of eating have made all my winter clothes a little too snug for comfort and cheap bastard that I am, I'd rather diet than have to buy any new ones.

Though I don't now where to start, and this is where I turn to you, my faithful handful of readers. What diets are good? Or should I just exercise more? I really have no idea where to start. So if you, like me, want a healthier, sexier Andy for winter, who looks great in his winter clothes, get writing some comments now. You'll be making the world a better place.